


i need to be youthfully felt ('cause, god, i never felt young)

by ladypeaceful



Series: each time the universe splits, i'll find you in the stars again [7]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Angry Sex, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Canon Trans Character, Established Relationship, Jealousy, M/M, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, To Be Continued, i started this literally almost a month ago and it became a MONSTER, this was not supposed to happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 18:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20782799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladypeaceful/pseuds/ladypeaceful
Summary: Anonymous said to babieflorenzi:Hey can you do one where Matteo sees David and this girl talking and she goes in for a kiss but matteo turns around so she can't see David pull away and starts getting angry then David goes to find me and Matteo basically shows David that he's only his but fucking the life out of him I'm in the mood for angst and you know 👀👀





	i need to be youthfully felt ('cause, god, i never felt young)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theyellowcurtains](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyellowcurtains/gifts).

> \- so uhhhhhhhh soooooo i know i've been gone for a hot minute WHOOPS i promise i'm gonna get back to all my other wips too there's just been a lot of stuff happening,,, like the last time i updated was before the karaoke clip had even happened so you can imagine how much i've been dealing with in terms of druck ending (!?!?!?!) and if you follow me on tumblr or know me from elsewhere then you KNOW i haven't been handling it very well asghsgkasjg and on top of that i've had class and theatre and work and yep it's been a wild month  
\- but anyways this has been too long in the works so i'm posting this first part of it now which is already nearly 10k and thats insane because i THOUGHT this was gonna be a short lil thing that i wrote as a favor to my friend harri who helps run babieflorenzi on tumblr  
\- but now it's gonna be. a two-shot because i realized i really couldn't just make this a pwp and call it a day, NO, matteo and david have to be healthy and communicative and talk about their feelings n shit like,, so there's more of this to come but yeah a good half of this is just self-indulgent porn whoops  
\- i guess i gotta qualify that i'm not cis + there is very explicit penetrative vaginal sex AND oral sex in this fic lmfao and also explicit mention of ftm bottom growth!!  
\- this is technically unedited because i'm not giving it a final read-through before i post it so im sorry for any mistakes but i'll probably find them later and go back to change it hhh i just wanna have this posted so i stop obsessing over it  
\- titles are from jackie and wilson by hozier im emo ok

The music in the nightclub is loud, but not enough to drown out the incessant pounding in Matteo’s head. He downs the rest of his drink and sets the glass down a little harder than he means to so that it clinks loudly on the counter, attracting the attention of Jonas next to him.

“Dude, you alright?”

Matteo grunts, which isn’t really an answer one way or the other.

Jonas nudges him by the shoulder. “What’s goin’ on?”

Matteo doesn’t respond with more than an aggressive jut of his chin towards the dance floor. Jonas follows his gaze and lets out a low hiss between his teeth. “I see.”

David, lovely, graceful, charismatic David, is there in the crowd, talking to a girl a few inches shorter than him and his face is bent down and turned away at such an angle that Matteo can’t see his expression, can’t make out what he’s saying to her, but he can hazard a guess based on the way the girl is batting her eyelashes at him and letting her eyes flicker up and down David’s lithe figure. He’s dressed the way he usually does whenever he and Matteo go out at night, a loose black muscle tank and matching skinny jeans that hug his legs so tightly, Matteo thinks there should be a new sin created specifically for them.

“They’re probably just having a normal conversation,” Jonas starts in a fruitless effort to assuage the anger creeping up behind Matteo’s eyes, but it’s too late. The girl makes her move, stepping in closer and tipping her head up, and Matteo pushes sharply away from the counter he’s been leaning on, making a swift departure before he sees something that makes him genuinely lose his temper.

“Matteo!” He barely hears Jonas call after him as he goes into the restroom, slamming the door behind him and locking it with more force than necessary. It’s one of those gender neutral bathrooms, meant to be occupied by a single person, that were part of the reason David had wanted to come to this particular club tonight. That conversation seems like it happened a lifetime ago, Matteo thinks as he white-knuckles the sides of the cold ceramic sink, dropping his head and pressing the top of it against the dirty mirror in an effort to gather his thoughts and try to separate reality from memory.

_ “We should go to that one queer club! You know the one with those cute little unisex restrooms?” David had said, grabbing the tank top Matteo had left hanging on the back of the chair for him and slipping it on. _

_ “That one’s further away though,” Matteo said, not really trying to fight against it. He didn’t have an actual preference; he knew he’d go along with whatever David wanted. He always did. David was too cute, too irresistible for Matteo to oppose his suggestions usually, even if they were sometimes ill-advised. _

_ “Jonas is driving tonight, isn’t he?” David turned to give himself a once-over in Matteo’s mirror, predictably messing with his hair for about the fifth time in the last hour. He looked good, Matteo had told him as much but David was obsessive about little things like that. It was more endearing than anything. _

_ “Yeah,” Matteo said, already half-forgetting what he was confirming as he walked towards David and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend from behind. He nuzzled into David’s neck, leaving a few gentle bites at the junction between shoulder blade and collarbone. David sucked in a breath, one of his hands reaching back to curl into Matteo’s hair, tugging slightly. _

_ “You’re so hot we should just stay home and dance here instead.” _

_ “You sure you’re talking about dancing?” David’s voice was the kind of sultry that immediately sent the blood in Matteo’s veins shooting southward. He didn’t answer, just twisted David around in his embrace so he could catch his lips in a hungry kiss, his hands creeping up beneath the hem of David’s top so he could splay his fingers out across soft skin, running them reverently over the fading scars on David’s chest as he bit down on David’s bottom lip. _

_ “Fuck, Matteo.” _

_ “That’s the idea,” Matteo murmured, grinning against David’s panting mouth despite himself. _

They’d barely managed to pull themselves away from each other when Matteo’s phone had gone off, an incoming call from Jonas who’d arrived to pick them up, just as Matteo had been about to strip all of David’s clothes back off him. It had been maybe a couple of hours ago when he’d been on cloud nine, but now Matteo feels dizzy and heavy like he’s been waterlogged for days, treading water with no promise of reaching land any time soon. He’s too tired to keep swimming.

He knows that David knows he’s hot. He also knows that David loves him, knows that David would never hurt him. But David likes the attention he gets from strangers, something Matteo has never sought out because he only ever wants David to look at him like that. And Matteo would be kidding himself if he said he wanted to look at anyone else the way he looks at David.

So they go out to clubs and David talks to strangers of all sorts, most of whom are also hot (but not as hot as David, Matteo isn’t biased at  _ all _ ) and easily latch onto David as a target, with his dark eyes and enchanting smile and contagious laughter. David lets himself be flirted with but doesn’t flirt back, doesn’t mind it when Matteo slides a possessive arm around his waist and introduces himself as the boyfriend. He likes watching the gazes of men and women alike widen in surprise, or fall in disappointment, or sometimes narrow in blatant jealousy if they’re not careful enough to hide it. That last type of reaction is what Matteo gets a kick out of the most. It makes him feel powerful and enviable, that he can claim David as  _ his. _

But tonight is different. He hadn’t seen David do his usual thing of stepping away when the girl got too close. David hadn’t turned towards Matteo to point him out,  _ that’s my boyfriend over there, _ for whoever was making advances and maybe didn’t know how to take  _ no _ for an answer.

His thoughts are interrupted by a quick succession of knocks on the door.

“Matteo, are you in there?”

He doesn’t answer. He can’t answer.

“Matteo, please let me in.” He hears David jiggling at the locked knob in vain, and then letting out a sigh. “Baby, I’m sorry. Jonas told me what you saw, but I swear it wasn’t like that. You know me. You know I would never.”

Matteo still doesn’t say anything. His throat seems to have closed up.

“You don’t need to talk or anything. And if you want me to shut up, I will. But at least unlock the door so I can come in?”

He lifts a hand towards the lock, grips it for a second without turning it, and lets out a long, steadying exhale. Then he twists the lock and throws open the door.

\--

David is pleasantly tipsy, enough that he keeps phasing in and out of the conversation he’s having with the girl whose name had gotten lost in the chaos of music pulsing and bodies gyrating around them. He’d really only asked out of politeness, though.

She’s one of Sara’s friends, he knows that much. But Sara is off somewhere, probably making out with Leonie, so David is left to make conversation on his own.

It happens so fast he almost doesn’t pull away in time. One moment the girl is talking about some modeling project she’s a part of that she thinks David would be really good for, and the next thing he knows she’s suddenly a lot closer than he remembers her being, so close he can see the little sparkles in her lip gloss.

He backs away quickly enough that he almost crashes into someone behind him, and the girl looks dismayed. It’s an expression he’s used to by this point.

“Sorry, but I have a boyfriend. He’s…” David has turned to gesture towards Matteo, but he’s not at the bar anymore. Jonas is still there, standing by himself and staring right at David with a look of concern that David immediately takes as a very bad sign.

“Excuse me,” he says apologetically to the girl, who still looks extremely put out, and pushes his way out of the crowd and makes his way over to Jonas.

“Where did Matteo go?”

Jonas jabs a thumb behind him towards the bathrooms. “He’s pissed. I think he thought you were gonna let that chick kiss you. He left before he saw you turn her down.”

“Fuck.” David runs a hand through his hair. He’s usually not this careless, but he is a little drunker than normal. The move the girl had made on him had seemed pretty out of nowhere, but maybe he just hadn’t seen the warning signs this time.

“You’ll be fine,” Jonas tells him with a clap on the shoulder. “Just go talk to him.”

David nods gratefully, bumping his fist against Jonas’ and heading off towards the bathrooms.

Strangely, they’re all vacant except for one. At least he doesn’t have to do a round of awkward knocking to find which one Matteo’s in.

He knocks on the door marked  _ occupied. _

“Matteo, are you in there?”

There’s no answer. “Matteo, please let me in.” He tries jiggling the doorknob a couple times in case Matteo hadn’t heard him knock.

With a sigh, he leans his forehead against the door. “Baby, I’m sorry. Jonas told me what you saw, but I swear it wasn’t like that. You know me.” His voice breaks a little with how much he needs Matteo to believe him. “You know I would never.”

Still nothing. David closes his eyes.

“You don’t need to talk or anything. And if you want me to shut up, I will. But at least unlock the door so I can come in?”

He hears the lock click and steps back in time for Matteo to open the door, but before it’s even swung halfway open, Matteo has grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a scorching kiss, the force of it knocking the wind out of David.

Matteo’s other hand is in David’s hair, pulling hard enough for his roots to ache, and a particularly sharp tug prompts him to moan into Matteo’s mouth.

And just as suddenly as he had appeared, Matteo is gone again, now somehow on the other side of the bathroom and David is left reeling on the spot, feeling like he might tip over at any second.

“Matteo, holy shit.”

“Sorry,” he says, not sounding sorry at all. He’s ridiculously scarlet, his cheeks flaming and David wants to feel the heat of them against his own face, wants to lick the redness that’s now spreading to Matteo’s neck, and even lower than that. David knows the exact shade of warm pink Matteo turns when he flushes down to his chest, knows he can get Matteo even more worked up by pointing out just how pretty he is.

David senses that Matteo is trying to formulate words, but he’s still very much standing in the doorway of the  _ public  _ bathroom, so he asks, “Is it okay if I close the door?”

Matteo nods, so David steps in and shuts the door behind him while still staying a safe distance away. He knows Matteo can switch on or off without warning, wanting to be touched in one moment and needing ten feet of space in the next. Even if he had just been all over David a second ago, there was no knowing if he would flinch away from David’s fingertips if he reached out to him now. He always had to be careful, was glad to do it because he only ever wanted Matteo to feel safe and comfortable around him.

But he’s clearly gone and fucked it up so thoroughly already tonight that he doesn’t know how to fix this now.

“I need,” Matteo says, and stops, and starts again. “I need to know.”

“Need to know what?” David tries his best to be gentle.

Matteo takes a shaky breath. “I need to know that, as long as we’re together, you’ll always choose me. Over anyone else.”

David wants to wrap himself around Matteo, cradle his face in his hands, hold him and kiss him, anything to show without words that he’d never think of choosing anyone but Matteo.

“How could you ever think I would choose anyone over you?” His head is spinning and his throat has gone dry. “How did we even get here?” David doesn’t know if he’s this confused because of the amount of alcohol in his system, but the pleasant fuzziness he’d felt earlier is rapidly fading away with every word that comes out of his mouth.

“I just--” Matteo digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, “David, that girl out there was putting the moves on you and I didn’t see you trying to stop her!” He blurts out.

David knows he’s not sober enough to be able to properly defend himself right now. Unfortunately, that also means he’s not sober enough to stop himself from trying anyway.

“Nothing fucking happened! Matteo, I swear.”

“It sure didn’t look that way to me.” Matteo sounds so forlorn it’s heartbreaking. His eyes are wet and David feels the pressure building behind his own eyes. He won’t be able to handle it if Matteo starts crying.

“I didn’t let her kiss me or anything,” he pleads. He briefly considers telling Matteo he can ask Jonas, if Matteo doesn’t believe David, but decides it would make him sound childish. “I didn’t even know she was going to try.”

Matteo looks as insane as David feels.  _ “Of course  _ she was going to try, have you  _ seen _ yourself in the mirror? And for all she knew, you were single.” The word stings when Matteo spits it at him and anger flares up in David’s stomach now too.

“Well, I’m fucking  _ not,  _ because I’m dating  _ your  _ stupid ass.” David sends the words at him like daggers, but with no real heat behind the insult because he’s more frustrated at himself than he is with Matteo.

“Oh, you’re one to talk.” Matteo laughs bitterly. “Okay, then why did you bring  _ my  _ stupid ass out with you if you were just gonna flaunt yourself in front of strangers all night?”

“It’s called  _ having fun _ , Matteo.” David knows that he’s hit a wall at this point but something in him is refusing to just let it go. He has no real defense, he knows that he’s hurt Matteo for no valid reason.

“I didn’t realize  _ this _ was your idea of fun.” Matteo runs a hand through his hair with enough force that it stays out of his face now, slicked back with sweat. “Am I not enough for you or something?”

“Don’t fucking say shit like that,” David protests. “Of course you are. You’re more than enough for me.”

“Then what is all of this?” Matteo makes a sweeping gesture. “Why do you need to have everyone else’s attention every time we go out?”

“Because,” David struggles for a second to find the words, “because I feel like I never got this type of attention before… before, you know.” He gestures at his chest.

“You--” Matteo throws his hands up. “I’m dating an idiot. You’re fucking kidding me right now. I cannot  _ believe  _ you don’t know how fucking hot you are. How hot you’ve  _ always  _ been. What else can I do to make that clear to you?”

“It’s different when it’s coming from you.” David says nonsensically.

“You  _ just  _ said--”

“I  _ know _ what I just said, and you  _ know _ what I  _ mean _ .” David massages his temples. At this point he’s not even quite sure what he means. “This is such a mess.”

“Fucking hell, but it doesn’t  _ have _ to be, David.” Matteo’s voice is much lower now. “You know you could have just told me you wanted attention.”

David looks up in time to see Matteo close the distance between them in two easy strides. His eyes are heavy with intent as he reaches behind David to deftly lock the door.

“I’ll give you all the fucking attention you’re so desperate for. And you can  _ bet  _ I’ll make it count.”

Something ignites in David at Matteo’s words and at the way his voice has dropped an octave. He pushes David backwards until he’s bracketing him against the door with both arms and leaning in close, so close that Matteo is all David can see, smell, feel. They’re nose to nose when Matteo speaks again.

“You’re an idiot. But I love you anyway. And I know that I love you because I still want to fuck the living daylights out of you even though you can be such an idiot sometimes.”

David swallows. It's very unlike Matteo to be this straightforward, but then again they haven't fought like this before. David hasn't seen this side of Matteo before tonight. He concludes, against his better judgment, that it’s turning him on a lot more than he would have expected.

His fist curling in the front of David’s shirt, Matteo kisses him, fierce and bruising like before. David can feel his lingering anger in how Matteo wastes no time in licking into his mouth, sinking his teeth into David's lip with a guttural noise that has David suddenly weak in the knees, clinging to Matteo to stay upright.

David is hot all over, skin on fire wherever Matteo’s touching him, and he lives for it. Matteo snakes a hand up David’s shirt to twist one of his nipples, drawing a high-pitched whine from David’s throat.

“Want you so bad,” Matteo whispers against David’s mouth. He noses across David’s jaw, one hand coming up to grip the back of David’s neck to hold him still as he moves down to suck a dark red bruise where the skin, stretched thin and tender across David’s collarbone, is easily breakable. Matteo leans back a little to admire his work, the smile on his face so smug that David has to look down to see for himself. He almost loses his mind when he realizes how visible the hickey is. He knows there’s no hiding this one, not unless he wears a turtleneck tomorrow.

David loves it. Matteo has marked him as his own, and the headiness of being claimed this way makes David feel drunker than he’s been all night.

Matteo’s got both of his hands under David’s tank top now, nails scraping painfully across his chest, a pleasurable ache that contrasts nicely with the much softer fingertips Matteo traces along David’s skin when he reaches the lines of scarred tissue only inches below his nipples. He never fails to be gentle with David’s scars, even though it’s been over a year since his surgery.

Matteo keeps pushing the tank up higher until David slips it over his head to let Matteo kiss down his midriff, his fingers gripping David’s waist hard enough that David knows the exact size and shape of the bruises that will form there.

“Mine,” Matteo mumbles from where he’s left another hickey on David’s hip. It’s one little word, but it makes David feel like he’s burning up from the inside.

He pulls Matteo back up for another open-mouthed kiss, a mess of tongues and teeth slick with saliva. “Yours,” he whispers back, pressing it like the most sinful of confessions into the skin around Matteo’s jaw and chin. “All yours, baby.”

Matteo thrusts his hips forward and David smirks against Matteo’s lips when he feels how hard Matteo already is through his pants. Without breaking the kiss, David grabs Matteo by the shoulders to back him up a few steps, then spinning them around so Matteo’s back is now the one against the door. Matteo can’t seem to respond to David’s manhandling beyond panting into his mouth a string of unintelligible noises, fingers slipping beneath David’s waistband to cup his ass as he shifts to bite down  _ hard  _ on David’s neck before licking over the same spot.

“Fuck, holy shit,” David moans, fingers scrabbling for purchase at the sparse hairs at the back of Matteo’s neck. In a moment of uninhibited desperation, he drops to his knees, hands already flying to undo Matteo’s zipper before he’s fully settled his weight on his heels.

He tugs Matteo’s pants down to his knees, mouthing wetly at the front of his boxers and reveling in the feeling of Matteo tugging him closer by the hair. David runs his tongue along Matteo’s length straining against the soaked fabric, and it’s only when Matteo lets out a long, keening groan he tries to muffle by biting down on his fist that David finally pulls the boxers down as well to free Matteo’s dick, swollen and pink, which springs out and smacks against his stomach.

Grinning as he looks up to meet Matteo’s wild-eyed gaze, his pupils blown wide, David watches his kiss-bitten mouth go slack as he wraps a hand around Matteo, stroking up once while keeping his grip tight enough that Matteo throws his head back against the door.

_ “Fuck,  _ David.”

He’s tempted to respond with something cheeky or suggestive, but opts instead to lean down and cover the head of Matteo’s cock with his lips. He keeps his fingers taut around him and strokes up and down a few more times as he flicks his tongue against the frenulum, making Matteo’s dick twitch in his mouth.

At what he knows is an achingly slow pace, David traces the vein that runs along the underside of Matteo’s cock, before returning his attention to the head, licking and sucking until a few pearls of precum form at the slit and David swipes them away with his tongue while looking up at Matteo through his lashes.

“David, oh  _ shit _ .” Matteo sounds fucking wrecked already, his knees wobbling with the effort of trying to not thrust further into David’s mouth. “Fuck, your mouth feels so good.”

David pulls away from Matteo’s dick with a pop and grins at the way Matteo whines as he chases after David. He keeps Matteo in place easily with one hand on his hip and the other going up to tease at his balls. “Am I forgiven, then?”

“Just because you asked,  _ no, _ ” Matteo says, grunting as he struggles against the hold that David has on him. “It’s not gonna be that fucking easy.”

Matteo grabs David by the hair then and  _ yanks  _ so hard that David almost loses his balance. It seems he’s still not quite sober, but then again Matteo’s clearly not all there either, his face a blotchy crimson and his eyes unfocused.

David is used to being the one in control. He’s used to being the one to order Matteo around, so when Matteo tells him, a messy slur of words that go straight to David’s groin, “I’m going to come in your mouth and then we’re getting Jonas to drive us home so that I can fuck you until you can’t walk tomorrow,” it does something to David’s insides. Twists them all up like a pretzel, because Matteo knowing what he wants, Matteo actually verbalizing his desires to David, is way more attractive than David would have ever imagined.

That’s what drives him forward again to attach his lips to Matteo’s balls, taking care to not hurt the sensitive skin there. Matteo moans low in the back of his throat, knees almost buckling again, so David encircles the base of his dick with his free hand to make sure that he doesn’t come yet.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Matteo’s hips stutter forward involuntarily when David eventually moves his other hand back to squeeze Matteo’s ass before trailing his fingers teasingly around his entrance. Matteo shoots out a hand to grab David by the wrist. “Baby, we don’t have--”

David pulls two little packets out of his back pocket, wiggling them at Matteo.

“Jesus Christ. I’m still mad but I fucking love you.”

“I know,” David says, smiling sweetly before tearing a packet open with his teeth and covering his fingers as best as he can in the dim bathroom lighting. He slips one into Matteo’s tight heat at the same time that he wraps his lips around Matteo’s cock again, hollows his cheeks, and  _ sucks. _

David makes short work of Matteo after that, adding a second finger before long and curling them against his prostate as he swirls his tongue around and over Matteo’s slit. Holding his boyfriend down by the hip once more, David carefully takes in as much as he can, leaning forward onto his knees, until his nose is just barely able to brush the nest of soft hairs at the base of Matteo’s dick. All it takes is one more swallow and bob of his throat, one more well-aimed thrust of his fingers, before Matteo is coming into David’s mouth with a broken groan, a sound emanating from somewhere deep within, something primal and unrestrained.

David pulls most of the way off Matteo’s dick before he’s completely finished, so that some of the come gets smeared across his cheeks and chin, and he stays there between Matteo’s legs to catch his breath for a moment, letting himself thoroughly enjoy the ache already settling into his jaw.

Matteo’s eyes are reckless as they meet his. “David, that was  _ so-- _ ”

He cuts himself off to bend down and kiss David hard, before licking away the streaks of his own come from David’s face. A little part of him thinks involuntarily about how gross that should be, considering how sweaty he feels like he probably is on top of everything else, but Matteo hums in the back of his throat like it’s genuinely pleasurable for him to clean David’s face off like this. He catches David’s lips in another blazing kiss when he’s done, fingers threading back into his hair.

They make out for a little while, their movements getting slower and softer and lazier each time David turns his attention to a different part of Matteo’s face: his nose, his cheekbones, his eyelids, his temples. Always, though, he returns to that mouth, inevitably pulled back by how red and open and willing it is. David loves losing himself in the quiet euphoria he always gets from the taste of Matteo’s kisses, the feeling of Matteo’s tongue sliding against his, the way the corners of his lips never fail to lift in a smile against David’s own.

From the looks of him, Matteo probably feels as limp and rubbery as David does right now, but he manages to get up unsteadily, wincing a little as the circulation rushes back to his calves and feet, and make his way over to the paper towel dispenser. He rips out a couple sheets and runs them briefly under the faucet before returning to where Matteo is still leaning heavily against the door like it’s taking all of his remaining energy to stay upright.

David carefully wipes Matteo down, trying his best to be gentle so as not to overstimulate him. Matteo, being the baby that he is, still whines a couple times anyway, and David rolls his eyes with a scoff.

“Figures you’re still the same needy little brat under all that anger,” he says, a halfhearted jab at Matteo’s outburst from earlier. He tosses the dirty paper towels into the trash can, then bends down to pull Matteo’s boxers and pants back up.

But apparently he’s struck a nerve somewhere, because Matteo’s reaching out to grasp David by the chin now, lifting it up to force David to look at him square in the eye. David’s hands fall to his sides from where he’d been about to zip up Matteo’s pants, because Matteo’s gaze has regained that same sharpness from before, and the intensity of it sets something off in David’s mind. Like an alarm, or maybe the echo of a promise.

It seems like the latter, from what Matteo says next. “Don’t go thinking I’ve forgotten what I told you I was gonna do. You’re not getting off  _ that  _ easy.”

“Oh, I’m not?” He raises a challenging eyebrow. David can’t seem to stop himself from riling Matteo up, though he knows he’s playing a dangerous game. “I kind of thought that was maybe the point.”

Now that David knows he wants to see Matteo like this more often, the thoughts of all the ways he could bring out this side of Matteo have him already itching for the possibilities that the future holds. David’s never played with fire quite like this before, and he’s keen to see how far he can push his limits.

Matteo doesn’t let go of David’s chin or break eye contact with him as he wordlessly zips himself up with his free hand. When he does speak again, his voice is deadly calm and the sound of it sends a jolt of excitement down David’s spine.

“We’re going home.”

\--

David is fumbling for his keys when Matteo grabs him by the shoulders and pushes him roughly against their front door.

“Matteo, you--”

“Shut up.” David can’t really see him in the pitch black of the night but he can clearly tell from the tone of Matteo’s voice that he’s treading a fine line right now between keeping it together and giving in to his emotions.

Which is saying something, considering how Matteo hadn’t let up on David’s neck and chest for a single second during the rather awkward ride home in Jonas’ backseat, littering several angry bruises across yet unbroken skin, and while David had been fucking  _ living  _ for it, he’d also felt kind of bad for Jonas.

He’d voiced as much to Matteo when they were walking up to the apartment, to which Matteo had scoffed dismissively. “Please. He can go suck a dick for all I care. Besides, for all the times I had to watch him make out with Hanna, he can fucking suck it up and deal with us doing the same thing.”

David had laughed despite how harsh Matteo suddenly sounded. “You were so in love with him, weren’t you? You were fucking  _ jealous _ , wow.”

“This isn’t news,” Matteo had waved a careless hand at him and David couldn’t help but be amazed at how far Matteo’s come in being able to admit his past feelings for his best friend. “Anyway, Jonas is delusional if he’s expecting me to  _ not  _ kiss my extremely attractive boyfriend in front of him.”

“Oh, is he now?” David had wet his lips in anticipation of how his next words will affect Matteo. “So  _ that’s  _ why you’re constantly getting him to third wheel us. The truth is finally revealed.”

Matteo had shoved him then. “Fuck you.”

David had just smirked. “Easy, tiger. We’re getting there.”

And that’s how they’ve gotten here (David trying  _ so  _ hard to not let his keys slip from his grasp because he just knows he’ll lose them in the dark and then they’ll be well and truly fucked), the fingers of his free hand scrambling to find purchase on the back of his boyfriend’s neck as Matteo more or less attacks him right there on the doorstep.

“I’m going to fuck you until you forget how to say everything except my name.” Matteo growls into their kiss, and David is so turned on by it that he wraps a leg around Matteo’s waist in a desperate effort to get that much closer to him.

Matteo, with a surprising amount of dexterity, manages to hoist David completely up off the ground and slam him against the door once more, still kissing him like there’s no tomorrow. David wraps his arms tightly around Matteo’s neck and holds on for dear life as Matteo fishes his own set of keys out of his pocket and finally gets the door open so he can carry David inside.

Once he’s kicked the door shut behind them, Matteo lowers David back down to the floor, but it seems his manhandling is far from over. David has never been more grateful than he is in this moment that he and Matteo have an apartment completely to themselves now, because the absence of any meddling roommates or nosy sisters allows Matteo to all but rip David’s clothes off his body and scatter them all over the living room floor, one hand traveling straight down to probe at where David is already wet. Without much warning, Matteo pushes two fingers inside him straight away, so swiftly that David lets out a gasp at how easy it is for Matteo to immediately curl his digits against that sweet spot.

But the pleasure is short-lived, as Matteo slips his fingers back out much too soon, bringing them up to David’s lips so he can suck them clean. All the while there’s that hard gleam in Matteo’s eyes still, his expression something indescribable.

David licks the taste of himself off of Matteo, who then unceremoniously pulls his fingers out of David’s mouth with a loud  _ pop _ . He contemplates David for what seems like the longest second of his life, before pulling him into a kiss that’s more teeth than anything else, breaking the skin on David’s lower lip in a matter of seconds. David almost screams at the sensation, the momentary pain going straight to his nether regions, and he shudders as he feels the area between his thighs pulse uncontrollably.

Still kissing him, Matteo pushes at David’s chest until they’re stumbling into their bedroom and the backs of David’s knees hit the edge of their bed so that he collapses backwards onto the mattress. Matteo pulls away then to remain standing over him, and David mourns the loss of his warmth. He meets Matteo’s gaze expectantly, hoping that whatever he’s got in store for David is what he needs right now. Matteo doesn’t disappoint.

“I want you to touch yourself,” he orders in a hoarse voice. “Open yourself up for me, baby.”

David obeys at once, moaning low and needy as his own fingers disappear up inside himself, working at himself with three right off the bat and adding a fourth before too long. In a daze, he notices that while he himself is already completely naked, Matteo is still fully dressed. But as David fucks himself open with his own hand, he sees Matteo’s eyes glaze over with something beyond normal lust and desire. In one swift motion, he unzips his pants to free his cock, the head of which is swollen and leaking again.

Mesmerized, his own movements forgotten for the moment, David watches as Matteo pumps himself slowly, the tip of his cock disappearing and reappearing in his fist while he lets the precum oozing from his slit trickle down over his knuckles. Once he’s satisfied, he climbs onto the bed, his frame hovering over David as he pushes his fingers into David’s mouth once more.

He meticulously runs his tongue over Matteo’s hand, maintaining eye contact with Matteo as he makes a point of paying individual attention to each finger, so that he drags out the process of cleaning him off for as long as possible. After Matteo pulls his fingers away again, he leans in to suck a few bruises on David’s neck.

“Fuck, Matteo, oh  _ fuck, _ ” David breathes out, chest heaving with exertion, fingers still thrusting in and out of himself, mindlessly searching for release. Without saying a word, Matteo moves down to leave more hickeys near his scars, paying especially close attention to the more tender skin that surrounds them.

“Come for me,” Matteo murmurs against his chest and David does so with a violent shudder, tossing his head back onto the mattress and jaw going slack as he lets his hand fall limply to his side.

“You’re doing so good, baby,” Matteo coos. “So fucking good.” He kisses David then, more sweetly than he has all night, though it’s still rough enough to make David’s heart race. Matteo presses more kisses along David’s jaw and back down to the newly formed bruises on his chest, then lower until he reaches his navel and plants a soft kiss there, before slipping off the bed completely.

David’s eyes follow Matteo’s hands as they go to unbutton his shirt. He tosses it on the ground, then reaches behind his head to tug his undershirt off by the back of the collar, his arms flexing in a way that has David  _ sweating _ because his boyfriend is hot as hell.

Matteo quickly finishes stripping the rest of his clothes off, wasting no time in clambering back onto the bed and spreading David’s legs further apart before situating himself on his knees between them. He hasn’t quite stopped trembling from his orgasm and Matteo must notice, because he litters a few kisses dangerously high up on the insides of David’s thighs, probably in an effort to soothe him. However, the heat of Matteo’s mouth  _ right there _ , so fucking close and still not close enough, only serves to work him up further.

“Matteo,  _ please _ .” David knows how gone he must sound, but he  _ needs  _ Matteo and he needs him  _ now _ . If he knows Matteo at all though, David knows he’s probably not getting what he wants anytime soon.

“Please, what?” Like his gaze, Matteo’s voice is heavy with intent.

“Need you,” is all David can manage to get out at first. He sucks in a deep breath and tries again. “Need you so bad.”

“Tell me exactly what you need.” Matteo trails a feather-light hand up his side, maddeningly slow. David lets his mouth fall open only for a desperate whine to come out.

“Use your words, baby,” Matteo says softly.

David can barely force the words out with how wrecked he feels. “Kiss me. Please.” He needs Matteo’s hands on him too, so he follows it up with a weak, “Touch me, Matteo.”

Matteo leans down to cover David’s mouth with his so he can swallow down every little noise David makes. And he is making quite a lot of noise, a jumbled string of high-pitched moans and whimpers spilling out as Matteo runs his fingers and lips over the spots on David’s body he knows are most receptive to contact.

But almost even more overwhelming than having Matteo’s hands all over him are the  _ filthy _ words that come out of his mouth as he’s stroking the delicate skin on David’s stomach, trailing more kisses up from his navel to his chest and then to his neck. A sly grin on his face, Matteo slips his other hand between David’s thighs to continue fingering him open.

“Gonna take such good care of you, baby. You know I will. But before that, I’m gonna make you beg for my cock.” Matteo’s next words burn deliciously against David’s collarbone. “I wanna hear you scream my name until you lose your voice.”

He bites down on David’s neck, leaving another bruise there that David knows will be pretty and purple in the morning.

“I want you to forget about everyone else for tonight.” Matteo licks over the sore spot. “I’m the only one who matters right now.”

Matteo thrusts his fingers so deep inside David that he feels like he might faint from the pressure. A full-body shudder wracks David’s body as he moans, fists clenching in the sheets and back arching completely off the mattress.

And then all of a sudden, Matteo has pulled his fingers out and moved completely away from him to slide off the bed again. David feels the loss of warmth, of  _ Matteo, _ like a madness from within. He twists towards Matteo involuntarily but is halted by an admonishing look and two little words that hold a heavy promise.

“Stay there.”

David goes to touch himself again but Matteo stops him once more.

“Hands off.”

David lets out a whine. Matteo just glares at him, razor-sharp and unexpected.

“I’m serious. No touching.”

David has to trap his hands beneath himself to obey Matteo’s words. He watches as Matteo crosses to the other side of the room and rummages through the top drawer of their dresser for a few seconds. He’s back on the bed before David realizes it, tossing their half-empty bottle of lube next to David with a smirk. Both of Matteo’s hands go to grip David by the wrists, tugging them upwards until he gets the idea and flips over onto his stomach.

Now that he can’t see Matteo anymore, his other senses are suddenly heightened. He feels Matteo shifting around behind him, and the lube being retrieved from where it had rolled against David’s thigh. Then Matteo sucks another hickey into David’s skin, this one on his right shoulder, and David inhales sharply at the way the burn of it straddles the line between pain and pleasure.

“Are you gonna be good for me?” Matteo’s voice is almost a whisper now, and he’s so close to David’s ear that the hair on the back of his neck stands up. David can only nod; it’s taking every ounce of his remaining strength to not rut against the mattress.

Matteo kisses his way down David’s spine, taking his sweet time to press his lips into every groove between the ridges of his vertebrae. He scatters more bruises across David’s back than David can keep track of, licking over each fresh bite mark and kissing the particularly abused spots. The adrenaline rushing through his system is positively dizzying, and David knows that he’s going to look like an absolute wreck come tomorrow. Matteo is taking advantage of his number one weakness, and David fucking loves it.

“On your elbows and knees, baby.” Matteo taps him gently on the ass, an unexpectedly endearing gesture, to get him to move, and David does so, shaking half from anticipation and half from how wobbly his limbs feel right now.

Once David’s found his balance, Matteo runs his hands over David’s ass, squeezing the cheeks a few times before landing a few less-than-gentle smacks that have David whimpering and trembling. Matteo gives the spots he had just struck a few soft kisses, then spreads David’s legs a little wider so that he can blow cool air over David’s entrance, making him shiver violently and his head drop to rest on the mattress. He’s on the verge of yelling out a desperate plea for Matteo to just fucking get on with it,  _ please,  _ when he leans in and licks a wet circle all around David’s hole.

“Oh  _ shit,  _ shit shit shit _ fuck, _ ” David immediately stutters out, rocking backwards in an attempt to get  _ more _ , he needs more right now. But Matteo pulls back and his hand comes down on David’s ass once more, this time clearly as punishment.

“Don’t move.”

“Matteo,  _ please. _ ” David begs. He’s so aroused that he can barely stand it, can feel the throbbing between his legs where he’s most vulnerable to sensation right now. David needs Matteo to touch him there, use his fingers, tongue,  _ anything _ to relieve the tension that’s rapidly coming to a head and will send him over the edge at any moment. He doesn’t know how to make Matteo do what he wants, but he does know he won’t be able to handle much more of this relentless teasing.

That’s when Matteo takes mercy on David, a primal sound somewhere between a scream and a moan forcing its way out of David’s lungs as Matteo finally pushes his tongue  _ into  _ him, his nails digging into already bruised skin to spread David’s cheeks further apart so he can bury his face between them. David feels tears well up in his eyes as Matteo flicks his tongue against him, before swirling it around and around that hypersensitive bit of muscle until he knows he’s going to come again. David can tell that Matteo is going to ruin him tonight, is going to make him orgasm until he can’t anymore.

He’s so fucking grateful that he’s now able to let Matteo have a similar experience that David himself gets from sucking his boyfriend’s cock. Way back when he’d first started testosterone, David had looked forward most to the positive effects it would have on his bottom dysphoria. He’d been eager to check himself out in the mirror each day after showering and before getting dressed, had chased that wave of euphoria he would get from seeing himself grow week after week, just as his confidence built up day by day as the months went by.

Every playful moment of banter they’ve had with Carlos and Abdi has only served to reassure David that Matteo doesn’t give a shit about his size. But nothing is ever more validating to David than when, like he’s doing now, Matteo flips him onto his back again and goes straight to take David in his mouth. The look in Matteo’s eyes is something profound and staggering, like eating David out is the only thing that matters in the world to him right now. Matteo hums around him to draw more sounds out of him, using his tongue in ways David had only ever dreamt about before he met this boy, who knows all the best ways to love David and never lets that knowledge go to waste. This boy, who’s mapped out every inch of David’s body and has touched his very soul in the process. And David is so blessed to love this boy right back, just as much, and always always always yearning for more, even though they’ve already given all of themselves to each other.

Matteo fucks him with his tongue until he comes with a shout of Matteo’s name, his whole body shaking like a leaf and his mind blank except for Matteo, Matteo is all he sees, all he feels, all he knows, Matteo, leaning over him as he slips his fingers back into him now to drive him through the orgasm, Matteo, attaching his lips to David’s neck yet again and whispering into his skin, “Gonna fuck you until you don’t remember how to talk,” and he presses  _ down _ on that spot inside of David and he  _ screams _ , and it’s only Matteo, only him, only them.

He faintly registers Matteo’s fingers sliding wetly out of him, then the sound of him uncapping the lube bottle and slicking himself up with a few breathless groans, and David manages to lift a hand to help him, running his thumb over the head a few times, just enough to make Matteo’s cock twitch under his grip, enough to make Matteo tremble and whine and nose his way back into David’s neck.

David brings his other hand up to fist in Matteo’s hair and tugs his head back so they can exchange a kiss, searching and possessive, and the words David breathes out are barely audible against Matteo’s lips.

“Fuck me, baby, please. Only wanna feel you.”

Matteo kisses him again, then once more, then pulls away and situates himself on his knees, a devilish smirk on that stupid face David loves so much. Then Matteo  _ drags _ David down towards him by the ankles, before he hoists David’s legs up so that his heels are hooked over Matteo’s shoulders.

David is grateful for the added stability because he doesn’t think he would have been able to hold himself up as Matteo pushes into him, finally, moving so slowly that David thinks he might die, until at last his hips meet the backs of David’s thighs.

“So fucking good, David, fuck,” Matteo moans. “So fucking tight.”

“Move, baby, I need you, I need you to move,” David babbles. And Matteo does, his first few thrusts long and deep and bone-melting, but he quickly gathers speed after that. David has to grab onto something, so he fists one hand in the sheets and the other on Matteo’s waist, digging his heels into Matteo’s shoulder blades to anchor himself. 

“Fuck, oh fuck, Matteo,  _ fuck,  _ oh God,” David cries out, each word punctuated by a thrust from Matteo, who lets out his own garbled string of curses. David has never seen Matteo like this, has never been fucked so roughly by his boy, his Matteo who is normally so soft and pliant in bed, and the intense, unquenchable thirst in Matteo’s eyes right now has David reeling.

“Don’t fucking stop, Matteo, God, don’t stop!”

“God, you’re so-- _ fuck _ \--so hot like this,” Matteo pants out. He leans more and more forward until he’s got David bent in half with his thighs against his chest. With a surprising amount of balance, Matteo manages to shift so that he’s now crouching instead of kneeling. He clamps his hands down on the backs of David’s knees so he can fuck even more deeply into David, pressing him into the mattress.

David’s now lost the ability to form actual words from how Matteo is hitting just the right spot with every mind-blowing thrust. He looks so fucking beautiful hovering over David like this, all wild hair and scarlet cheeks, mouth open and eyes rolling back in their sockets. The sight of him so utterly wrecked and vulnerable has David coming for the third time that night, his walls clenching around Matteo’s cock as his legs quiver uncontrollably through it, every nerve in his body set alight. Matteo groans at the feeling of David tightening around him, and from how his fingertips dig even more deeply into David’s hips, David can tell Matteo’s focusing his thrusts where he needs them most now.

David wants to lick the sweat dripping down the side of Matteo’s face; he settles instead for letting go of his sheets to run a hand through Matteo’s hair, which is just as sweat-soaked as his skin. Matteo strengthens his grip on David, his movements getting more and more erratic and his thrusts turning quick and shallow as he gradually loses control of himself.

“David, fuck, oh fuck, I’m coming,” is all the warning he gets before he feels Matteo spill inside him with a low moan, his voice breaking as his hips stutter and jerk involuntarily a few more times before coming to a halt. When he gingerly pulls out after a few moments, David feels Matteo’s come trickle out of him onto the bedsheets and it sends his head spinning in circles with how fucking amazing he feels. How fucking amazing  _ Matteo  _ is, how fucking lucky David is to have him.

Matteo has barely let David’s legs fall from his shoulders before he all but collapses on top of his boyfriend, his chest heaving against David’s as they both struggle to catch their breath. David instinctively brings his arms up to wrap around Matteo’s neck, burying his nose in Matteo’s hair, fingers stroking gently at his scalp.

“That was so fucking good,” Matteo mumbles into David’s collarbone, echoing himself from earlier. His softening cock is trapped between their bodies and David knows they should probably clean up, but he doesn’t think he can move a single muscle right now. “Best fucking sex ever.”

“You’re saying I’m the best?” David asks, and wow, his voice is going. He’s surprised it isn’t already gone, with how raspy it is right now.

“You fucking know you are,” Matteo says, his hand finding David’s and twining their fingers together.

He knows part of it is because of the alcohol that still hasn’t completely left his system, but David hasn’t felt this well-fucked in a while, which is saying something given how he usually ends up completely boneless and pliable whenever he’s the one bottoming. He cups Matteo’s face in his hands, pressing their foreheads together. They share several languid kisses, Matteo smiling into them and then proceeding to pepper David’s entire face with tiny little pecks everywhere, completely incongruent with how rough he had been with David just minutes ago.

Matteo leaves one last lingering kiss on his lips before he nuzzles into David’s neck again. He’s curled his whole body around David now, like a koala, one hand still lightly gripping David’s jaw and the other clasped in the hand David doesn’t have resting on the small of Matteo’s back.

David can feel sleep threatening to overtake him, can tell that Matteo’s breathing will soon slow as well as he falls into a deep slumber, but he knows they need to talk. He doesn’t trust himself to be able to say what he needs to say when he’s sober in the morning, so he forces open one eye and lifts his free hand to tilt Matteo’s chin up.

Matteo, eyes nearly closed, looks at him questioningly, though his gaze is still full of love and adoration. David hates to possibly ruin the blissful moment, but this is a risk he has to take.

“Baby, it’s okay if you wanna go to sleep, but I don’t want you to think I’ve forgotten about earlier.”

Matteo doesn’t respond right away with more than a slight widening of his eyes, so David keeps going nervously.

“Okay, baby? I do want to talk about it and, like, make sure we get on the same page and stuff. It doesn’t need to be now, but it's super important to me that we have this conversation at some point.”

David lets the silence fall between them like an invitation, and Matteo doesn’t break it for a couple minutes. He just fidgets with David’s fingers with both of his hands, methodically bending them and straightening them back out. Anyone else would maybe think that Matteo had simply zoned out, but David can tell that he’s deep in thought.

And then Matteo answers, neck bent so that the words are muffled against David’s chest.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s not really a big deal.”

David doesn’t have to see his face to know he isn’t telling the truth. “You’re such a bad liar.”

Matteo looks up again to pout at him.

“That’s not gonna work on me,” David says, but he has to work to make sure his expression stays stern. Few things hold more power in the world than Matteo’s puppy dog face.

“Okay, fine.” Matteo lets out a big sigh. “But you can’t laugh at me.”

“I won’t. Probably,” David concedes.

“This is why I chose to date you,” Matteo says solemnly.

David waits patiently, hands rubbing soothing circles over Matteo’s back, as Matteo chews on his lip for another minute before he speaks again, careful and deliberate.

“It’s just that… I guess I’ve been insecure all my life. And now I feel like I shouldn’t be anymore, but I still am. I probably still will be for a long time.”

Matteo chews on his lip some more. David can hear the uncertainty in every word he’s saying.

“And it’s a shitty feeling, but I don’t want you to feel like you’re one of the reasons for me being insecure. But stuff like…” Matteo furrows his brow at the recollection, “you know, what happened tonight. It doesn’t exactly do great things for my self-esteem.”

David moves one hand to place it on Matteo’s cheek, and he immediately leans his head into David’s palm.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” David tries to keep his voice from trembling. “I don’t ever want you to feel like that because of something I did.”

Matteo is ready with a protest, shaking his head. “But I don’t want to stop you from enjoying yourself however you want just because I don’t like it. You shouldn’t have to hold yourself back from going out and having a good time. It doesn’t really harm anyone in the end. Well,” Matteo smirks despite himself, “except for those  _ poor  _ girls you always have to turn down.”

He can sense Matteo wants to make a joke, probably about David being a heartbreaker, but he knows from the telltale twitch of Matteo’s lips, the way he grabs hold of David’s other hand to give it a squeeze, that Matteo’s decided against it.

“But it harms  _ you _ , even if you,” David pauses, hating his next words, “give me permission or whatever.”

He can feel Matteo about to protest, so he hurries to add, “Which is a stupid concept, I know. And that isn’t even the issue here.”

“Yeah, no way. God, literally, can you imagine if we were one of those couples?”

David shakes his head. “That would be so fucked up. Also I’d dump your ass in a heartbeat.”

“I’d be worried if you didn’t,” Matteo says, and then he’s struggling through a yawn, so David says with an understanding smile, “Alright, we should sleep. It’s really okay, we can talk about this in the morning.”

“Okay,” Matteo agrees, “but I wanna actually get under the covers so we can properly cuddle.”

“So gross,” David teases as they arrange themselves beneath their blankets and Matteo reattaches himself to David the second they’re settled. “How did everyone not find out you were gay years ago?”

“Never wanted to cuddle anyone as much as I wanna cuddle you,” Matteo answers easily, pressing a sleepy kiss to David’s chest. David pulls up and twists his hand that’s in Matteo’s grasp so he can grip Matteo’s wrist and press his lips there, right over his pulse point.

Something about that must set Matteo off, because he wraps his arms around David’s neck and tugs him close to steal a quick kiss, which turns into a not-so-quick tangling of limbs and fingers, David hooking his leg around Matteo’s waist as they lick into each other’s mouths.

When they manage to pull away from each other again, a little out of breath and a lot grinning stupidly, Matteo nudges his nose into the hollow of David’s throat, pressing flurries of tender kisses to the bruises there. For a few minutes he strokes the same spots with the tips of his fingers, gently, carefully, lovingly, and it feels like a promise, but of what, David isn’t quite sure. He just tucks Matteo’s untidy mop of blond hair beneath his chin, closes his eyes, and lets his breathing slow down to sync up with Matteo’s, and lets himself drift off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> \- find me on tumblr @isaksavedeven but also uhhh @navollidiot bc im trying to move blogs in october due to the compulsive need to Start Over lmfao


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